Not all there

If nothing else, I hope that this term in Oxford I learn more of what it means to be fully present. So many times my roommate and I need to remind eachother to not dwell on the future (or the past), but to savor this time here and now, wherever that may be. I've struggeld with this quite a lot. I think part of it comes from incessant double-tasking. I've caught myself spacing off in the middle of a lecture deciding what to make for dinner and wondering which groceries I have on hand. I've watched a movie, only to start chatting with someone online. I've read pages and pages for my essay without processing a single word because I was already thinking about all future events (which consequently included rereading that book). I go to church and spend half of the sermon mentally outlining my next paper (and as I write that paper I'm probably thinking of something else entirely). You may guess the problems this can cause. C. S. Lewis says that the Present touches eternity. It is the closest we have to experiencing time as Our Father does. If we aren't thinking on Him in relation to eternity then we ought to be living and thinking presently. It is only then that we experience life as we were made to.

For a moment, though, I'll think on the past, at least the past week.

Last week was half-term for the schools (as opposed to university) here, meaning that none of the St. Andrew's groups had a regular meeting. Discuss had a "social night" consisting of dinner, games, and trivia in the form of small group competition. I got to model an outfit made of newspaper, eat a lot of cake, and plead ignorance when it came to answering questions of British pop culture (and geography). My contribution came in response to the question "Where does Spongebob live?" Thinking on my siblings and shamed by what my knowledge of this fact meant I reluctantly replied, "he lives in a pineapple under the sea." If only I'd also remembered that Percy is green, not blue like Thomas the Tankengine.

Friday I fully enjoyed the then present experience of walking 1.5 hours through Port Meadow and along the Thames with Alicia and Bethany until we reached The Trout Inn, a rather swank restaurant/pub where my roommates and I enjoyed some appetizers (which were plenty for dinner) and drinks (I think I prefer white wine to red). We fed horses, passed cows, crossed bridges, contemplated trees and had some wonderful discussion. I can see why C. S. Lewis and the Inklings got so much pleasure out of this journey when they were in Oxford. I'm going to miss the sunsets, the long walks and the stillness of being here.


Saturday a few other students and I spent a few hours delivering fall festival invitations to the houses in the St. Andrew's parish. It was a gorgeous fall day. The air was crisp and clean, leaves fell gently as i walked down the unflustered streets. Afterwards our employer took us out for coffee at a quaint French cafe. I sipped a cappuccino and shared a dessert crepe filled with coffee icecream and doused in kahlua. After a little reading I joined Alicia and two visitors at the Eagle and Child. It had begun raining by this time, so we forewent a bus tour for the Oxford Story - a sort of tourist attraction that's a bit like an amusement park ride taking you through the history of Oxford. It was actually great fun. We then climbed the 99 steps of Carfax Tower - the oldest building in Oxford - for a view of the City of Dreaming Spires. Lovely. That night my iPhotos crashed, causing me great turmoil and showing me yet again that I need to let go of wanting to control things.

Sunday I opted for a run through the city and the rain. I relocated the Oxford Canal, which brought me great joy. So did my shower and afternoon tea. That night was "life Sunday" at St. Andrew's. We listened to a member of Parliament share what had happened concerning the Abortion Act passed 40 years ago. It was a convicting wake up call to realize once more how many lives are ended each day all over the world.

Monday was spent trying to get ahead before Samantha's arrival. I finished an essay, spent an hour at St. Andrew's doing dishes and made stuffed mushrooms, baked apples, whole wheat spaghetti and spinach salad for dinner. When I went to pick up Sam I discovered her bus had come in 3 hours earlier. Though I'd mentioned where I lived she could not remember and had no way of calling me as I haven't a cell phone. Needless to say I felt a terrible hostess. Another situation not at all in my control, nor was the housing situation, which I'm sure Sam will describe on her blog. I hope the remaineder of her trip is under a more positive light.